Joshua
by Nicole10
Summary: What happens when Josh finds out that he shares the same first name with Dr. Freeride?
1. Goodbye and Hello

Title: Joshua  
Category: Romance/Humor/Drama  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: What happens when Josh finds out that he shares the same first name with Dr. Freeride?

Disclaimer: Not one inch of the West Wing belongs to me, not even a molecule of the air they breathe  
Author's Notes: Feedback the best stuff on earth

Writing Commenced: 1-18-06

"Donna! Donna! Just listen to me for one second!"

"No, Josh, I'm done. I can't live like this anymore."

"Please, it'll just take a minute, just a minute, I promise." His voice changed to a whisper. "Please?" he asked, gently touching her shoulder. He just wanted to hear her call him Jay, then he knew things would be okay. She turned around slowly. After all, a few years of her life were gone to taking care of him. If she walked away now without any idea of what he had to say it might haunt her forever, and that's the last thing she wanted.

"Ok. You have one minute. Go." Her voice was cold and strong, like steel.

"Donnatella Moss...I love you. You're everything to me. I know we've had our ups and downs but...we're meant to be together. And I…I'm really sorry about everything I've ever done to hurt you. Please…please marry me." Josh dropped down on one knee, pulling an oversized engagement ring out of his pocket and watching as her features played out a wide range of emotions.

At first her gaze softened in a way that reminded him of the first time he met her, before he had come into her life and changed it. That was before he had introduced her to the evils of the world. Then her nose crinkled like it used to after he had done something incredibly stupid and was asking for forgiveness (usually following a night of drunken debauchery) and next, when her jaw tightened, he knew he was in trouble. Her face, which a second ago was so expressive, changed to stone. He had to do something quick, so he did the only thing he could think of – he stood up and kissed her **hard**. The last thing Josh expected to feel was the sting of metal crutches crashing against his shin.

"Donna!" he yelped, pulling away from her lips. "That's not how you act towards your fiancée!"

"Then it's a good thing I don't have one!" she said as she headed towards the door. The crutches were slowing down her escape immensely and she couldn't get into her car before Josh came running out after her.

"You'll regret this!" he yelled at her as she threw her crutches onto the passenger seat while settling herself in the driver's side. Luckily she still had the ability to drive after the accident. "You'll never find anyone to love you, Donna. I'm the best bet you've got!"

"Joshua Morrison…go fuck yourself," was the last thing that came out of her mouth before slamming the car door shut. Her foot felt was like lead on the pedal as she put the car in gear and drove back to Manchester, New Hampshire.

Author's note: for those who may have gotten confused in this first section Jay and Josh are the same person.

- - - - - - - -

Bartlet for America Campaign Headquarters

Manchester, New Hampshire

Donna was sitting in her car trying to calm the beating of her heart. Ten feet away stood the doors to Governor Josiah Bartlet's presidential campaign headquarters, and ten feet away from that was Joshua Lyman's office and most likely the man himself, drinking coffee and reading a file. Well, that's what he used to do when he first entered the office in the morning. Of course she had never brought him coffee, but maybe his new assistant did.

Her heart rate increased. She hadn't considered that possibility. Maybe he had a new assistant and didn't want her anymore. She unconsciously pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, trying to look perfect. She was going to have to beg. From what Donna knew of Josh Lyman he wasn't one to let things slide by. He was going to want a full apology, and possibly some groveling. With this in mind Donna took a deep breath and opened the car door, grabbing her crutches and making her way towards her fate. The only sound she could hear besides the buzzing in her ears was the crunch the metal crutches made with each step as she drew nearer to the doors.

Then a thought hit her. There was no way she could go in with crutches because is she used them there was no way she could keep up with him. With that firmly in her head she returned to the car, threw her crutches in the back seat, took a deep breath and hobbled into headquarters.

The smells and sounds that immediately invaded her senses were familiar and comforting. This was where she belonged and if Josh couldn't see that, well, she would have to make him.

The first time she came here she was looking for a job to get away from her old life and show her ex-boyfriend that she could make it on her own; she didn't need him and never would. The reason she chose to hire herself for Josh Lyman after getting away from Jay was…she didn't want to say a mistake, because it wasn't, but it was more like…not the right choice. It was stupid of her to pick the one guy in the whole office who shared the same name as her ex-boyfriend. But at the time it had felt…comforting maybe. It was a familiar word in a strange place.

Margaret was the first person to approach her. "Hey Donna, you're back!" Lowering her voice she continued. "It's a good thing because Josh has been snapping at everyone since you left. I think he'll be glad to see you." She touched Donna on the arm and went on her way. Donna's shoulders sagged a bit with relief, but lifted as she made each step towards Josh's office. Despite the pain she was going to go in there with her head held high and no limp.

When she first saw him he was standing at his desk, looking down at a file, sipping his coffee. Without looking up he put down his coffee and pulled on his suit jacket, picked up the file, cup of coffee and continued reading. He almost passed right by Donna who was staring at him, half in his office door, half out. Josh froze and his eyes lifted to her face, slowly looking over her features as if to determine if it was really her or a clone.

"Hey Josh." She gave him a small, unsure smile.

"Thank God. There's a pile of stuff on the desk," he said and breezed past her, still sipping on his coffee and reading the file. She let out a breath. That had gone over better than she thought.

- - - - - - - -

So far it had been a relatively good day. Josh had accepted her back into his busy life and also into the campaign. She had a little trouble keeping up with his pace around the office and it took a toll on her ankle, which is why she currently had a bag of ice crushed to the affected area, wand was elevating her ankle on a nearby chair, trying to the numb the pain. Donna closed her eyes, leaned her head back and let the ice do its work. She didn't notice Josh watching her.

He couldn't believe she was back. The day she left he was sure it would be the last time he saw her. The people who left him never came back. He studied her carefully. She had gotten her hair cut shorter, and now when she worked she liked to put her left leg on a chair. It was a nice leg and she should show it off he thought as his gaze trailed down it, it was just that…what the hell?

"Donna?" he asked coming up behind her. "What the hell is on your ankle?" Donna jumped in her chair. She didn't want him to find out about her accident. "Donna," he said, his voice lowering with concern. "What happened?" The distress in his eyes almost killed her Don't-Tell-Josh-What-Actually-Happened Plan. But she had to stick to it.

"I slipped."

The brown in his eyes became darker as a shadow passed over his features. "Did he do this to you?" His voice was rough.

"What?" Her eyes widened in recognition of his words. Jay was a bastard but he would never lay a hand on her. "No, Josh! He didn't touch me! When I was heading out to my car I slipped on some ice on the front walk."

"You slipped on ice? In April?" His body screamed of disbelief.

"Yeah." The eyebrow raise made an appearance and she couldn't help but bite her lip to stop a grin from appearing.

"There aren't just random ice patches in April, Donna." If there's one thing she knows it's that Joshua Lyman is a difficult man, which, while an advantage in politics, it proved to be a pain her ass.

"It was…a late thaw." She held her breath as he stared at her for a minute. Josh was having a silent debate with himself, determining whether she told him the truth. He did this pretty often and Donna could tell when the process was occurring. His eyes would wander towards the ground, like he's examining his shoes or the floor for scuff marks, but really his brain is in full motion.

"What about kitty litter?"

"What about it?"

"Did you put any down?"

"…No…"

"Donna, you should ALWAYS put down kitty litter. I thought all Wisconsinites knew that. It's common sense in New England." Donna just stared at him.

"Josh?"

"Yes?"

"Is there a reason you're bothering me? Did you need something?"

"Well, I am your boss."

"Exactly. Do you need something?"

"No, just wanted to make sure everything's okay."

"Everything's just fine, thanks."

"Ok…if you need something, I'm over there," he said pointing towards his office. "Just holler." Her face split into a grin.

"Like you?"

"Yes, Donna, like me." He smiled at her and their gaze met. The deep blue color her eyes turned as he looked into them was making his breath quicken.

"Thanks Josh." Her smile became shy and she shifted her gaze towards the computer. "I should have these notes to you in a half hour."

- - - - - - - - -

A/N: Feedback, please! Tell me how it's going, what you think. If you hate it or not. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Explosion

Title: Joshua  
Category: Romance/Humor/Drama  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: What happens when Josh finds out that he shares the same first name with Dr. Freeride?

Disclaimer: Not one inch of the West Wing belongs to me, not even a molecule of the air they breathe  
Author's Notes: Feedback the best stuff on earth

**Chapter 2**

A/N: Sorry, I have a tendency to change tenses and I did a major change from the last chapter to this one

Mandy Hampton did not like Donnatella Moss, not one bit. Mandy's eyes betrayed the contempt she felt for the younger woman. It wasn't that she felt threatened; it was more that Mandy's boyfriend had the tendency to be a little…overprotective of his assistant. His young, blonde, gorgeous, blue-eyed, **female** assistant. So, maybe you can understand why Mandy's vision was clouded with green when she walks into **her** boyfriend's office to see him touching, no, not just touching but **massaging** his assistant's ankle while she sits on a chair and he crouches on the floor.

"I guess I'll just come back later." She spits fire and hopes it burns as she turns back towards her office. She knows exactly what Josh is doing now. He's dropped Donna's ankle and is starting to run after her. He'll be in her office ten seconds after she sits down behind her desk.

10…

9…

8…

7…

6…

She hears footsteps getting closer and puts on her best glare.

4…

3…

2…

1…

Brown hair and a face appear in her doorway.

"We have an emergency meeting with the Governor in five, Mandy. I figured I'd stop by and tell you since I didn't know if Josh had." She puts on a tight smile and nods at the good looking blue-eyed man. His eyes are a darker shade of blue compared to the crystal light of Donna's.

"Thanks, Sam, I'll be there soon." He smiles at her and then the doorway fills with light.

Where the hell was Josh?

- - - - - - - - -

He dropped her foot and she gasped as it landed with a bang on the floor. That's what stopped his pursuit of Mandy.

It had been a week since Donna returned to him. Josh had done a little research on twisted ankles due to falls on ice and otherwise (just in case). He had full faith in doctors and their medical practice but after reading up on the injury he decided he needed to investigate for himself and make sure the doctors hadn't…passed over anything or misdiagnosed her. She put up a struggle, but eventually she let him examine her ankle (and all he had to do was promise to eat a salad for lunch). What? It was the same thing he would do for any of his friends.

As he was about to tell her that in Joshua Lyman's webmd educated opinion her ankle would be fine if she just didn't overtax it his girlfriend walked in. His insanely opinionated, wildly brown haired, sexy yet overbearing girlfriend looked in his doorway at a perfectly innocent scene and huffed off. That's when his senses left and he hurt Donna.

Josh's face twisted with concern as he turned back towards the blonde woman sitting in his office chair, her face contorted with pain.

"I'm sorry." Her hands had reached down to grasp her ankle. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean…I'm sorry…I'm…" Josh's voice trailed off. He was staring down at her with no idea what to do or how to fix it. He felt helpless. Tears pricked at Donna's eyes. She fought them off as best she could before she lifted her head to tell him that it was fine, she just needed a minute.

"I have a meeting with the governor that I have to go to. I'll…get you some ice on my way back. Just stay here and elevate that thing." He ran off, scared that he had made her injury worse. Damn Mandy.

- - - - - - - - - -

Margaret entered a few minutes later with the bag of ice Josh had promised. He had known that Mandy wouldn't let him get away from that meeting quickly so Margaret was Donna's best bet for instant relief.

The initial yelling occurred exactly three minutes after the meeting had ended and the office watched as Josh baited Mandy into walking out the front door so that she could have her hissy fit in the streets of Manchester instead of in front of the whole staff. And for the first time during the Bartlet for America campaign Mandy Hampton broke up with Joshua Lyman.

- - - - - - -

A/N (sorry there are so many of these): So…tell me what you think. How is it going? Do you feel this chapter may be irrelevant? I'm still not sure if I'm going to have Josh and Donna get together in this story. We'll see. Let me know your opinions and once again, thanks for taking the time to read, I hope you enjoyed.


	3. Mandy Schmandy

Title: Joshua  
Category: Romance/Humor/Drama  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: What happens when Josh finds out that he shares the same first name with Dr. Freeride?

Disclaimer: Not one inch of the West Wing belongs to me, not even a molecule of the air they breathe  
Author's Notes: Feedback the best stuff on earth

A/N: I'm writing this after finding out that John Wells said this would be last season of West Wing, and they'll announce it after the memorial service for John Spencer…I think I'm gonna be sick…or cry. So after giving you that lovely news, hopefully this story can cheer you (and me) up…

A/N Part Deux: I believe this is where it becomes AU. Feedback, please!

October 15, 1999

"J!"

Donna froze.

"J!"

Josh felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around. There stood his college roommate's ex-girlfriend. What was her name? He couldn't think of it so instead he put on a fake smile and held out his hand to shake hers.

"Hey! How are you?"

"I'm doing fine. How are you? How's the campaign going?"

"Good, just fine."

"Listen, I was wondering if I could have five minutes with the Governor." Who the hell was this woman, and why did she think she should be allowed to talk to the Governor? "I think I could help on the campaign."

…Oh.

Josh looked towards Donna briefly. Her face had gone blank. Maybe she was feeling awkward? He'd introduce her if she could just remember what the woman was called.

"I'll talk to Leo McGarry; he'll get in touch with you." Amy Gardner smiled at him.

"Thanks, J. It was nice seeing you again."

"You, too." She turned away, her heels clicking on the New York sidewalk as she disappeared into the crowd.

The Bartlet campaign was in Manhattan for the Al Smith dinner that night. Josh was a little upset because he would have to miss the third New York Mets play off game versus the Atlanta Braves to attend the event. The Mets were down two games to none. If the Braves won this one they would only need another game to clinch the National League Championship.

Donna cleared her throat. "Who was that?"

"I have no idea. Some girl who used to date my college roommate. She might be April?"

"Jay?" she asked, her voice sounding small. "Is that what you like to be called?" His forehead crinkled.

"Are you kidding me? J? Do I look like some immature idiot? No, no, not in a million years. She just thought she was being cute or something. She'd try to get me to talk while she was waiting for Greg to take her out or something. She was annoying." He looked at her retreating form. "And should really changer her hair or something." Josh looked at Donna and smiled. "We'll see if her name makes it on Leo's desk."

- - - - - - - - -

2:12 AM

October 16, 1999

- -knock, knock- -

Donna rolled over, wiping away the sleep. She stared at the clock until her eyes focused on the bright red numbers blaring that it was 2:13 in the morning.

- -knock, knock, knock- -

"Donna!" his loud whisper came through the door. "You awake?" Donna let out a puff of air and threw the blankets off. The cold wafted over her body making her rub her hands over her arms as she made her way to the door and threw it open.

"Joshua." She glared at him.

"Donnatella Moss!"

"You're drunk!" He stared at her, his eyes wandering up and down her body before landing back on the blue.

"You're beautiful." Donna blushed, she couldn't help it. "And I need to pee, can I use your…" he trailed off pointing towards the bathroom as he brushed past her.

"Sure, Josh," she muttered, closing the door. "Help yourself." He stumbled out a minute later.

"I love New York, Donna. I love it." He drunkenly paced around her room as she perched on the edge of her bed. "I love the yellow taxis, I love the people, I love the hot dogs, I even love the hot dog vendors. I loved how your eyes lit up when you saw the Empire State Building today and I absolutely love the New York Mets, even if they lost tonight." He sat down next to her. "But they don't compare to your eyes." He was talking too fast; Donna couldn't get a word in. "And tomorrow we get to see the Mets play!"

"We do?" Words finally escaped her mouth.

"Of course we do! How can you go to New York and not see the world's greatest baseball team playing at Shea Stadium?" He bounced slightly on the bed, a grin played across his features.

"But I thought you were taking Mandy?"

"Mandy, shmandy. I broke up with her, its over." He threw his arms out like an umpire calling a runner safe at first. "She's a bitch." Josh looked up at the ceiling. "Why didn't anybody tell me?" Donna coughed and moved to start the coffee machine – Josh was gonna need some black caffeine later. He gently grabbed her wrist. "What happened with your boyfriend?" The innocent look in his eyes almost made her tell him everything...almost. Instead of answering she just stared at the chocolate she found in his gaze.

"I'm going to take a nap," Josh suddenly changed the subject, curled up on her bed and closed his eyes. Donna fiddled around with the coffee machine unsuccessfully trying to get it to work before she woke up her boss. She carefully led the cranky, drunk Joshua Lyman back to his room and under the covers. As she quietly made her way out of his room he shifted in his bed, making himself comfortable. He must have thought she was gone. That could be the only logical reason for the mumbled "love her" she heard followed by a snore.

Now, the question is was he talking about her or Mandy?


	4. The Amazin' Mets

Title: Joshua  
Category: Romance/Humor/Drama  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: What happens when Josh finds out that he shares the same first name with Dr. Freeride?

Disclaimer: Not one inch of the West Wing belongs to me, not even a molecule of the air they breathe  
Author's Notes: Feedback the best stuff on earth

October 16, 1999

"Donnatella Moss we are leaving in ten minutes! **Ten** minutes! We can't be late!" he said, banging on her door. Josh, surprisingly, woke up that morning without a hangover or being awkward around Donna. She had roused him after his nap, took him back to his room, made sure he was alright and left.

"I heard you the first six times, Josh!" she said swinging open the door. "Do you think I'm deaf, or did I suddenly revert back to a child who was incapable of listening, which, I might add, reminds me of you." She took a look at him. He was decked out in Mets gear. A Mets jersey with number 31 on the back and Piazza's name (of course), a Mets hat, and a glove. "What's the glove for?"

"Just in case a ball comes our way, Donna. Always be prepared, remember?"

"You weren't a boyscout."

"No, I wasn't, but I would've made one helluva good one," he grinned at her and then looked her up and down. She had on a spare Mets shirt he had leant her, and jeans. It was a start. "We need to get you a hat."

"I don't need a hat."

"Donna, everyone needs a hat, it's the American way!"

"The American way? Well, it's a good thing the all-mighty and powerful Josh Lyman was here to help me. I, a mere mortal, was thinking that the American way was life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

"Oh, just give it up, Josh. She doesn't need to wear a damn hat. It's not like she's seeing a good team," Toby's dry voice sounded out as he passed by them in the hallway.

"But this is the year, Toby! The Mets are going all the way!"

"I wouldn't bet on it," Toby replied as he entered the elevator.

"Don't listen to him, he's just a pessimist."

"Once again you give me information that would have been impossible for me to figure out otherwise. What would I do without you?"

"I don't know, probably sit in a room wondering 'where's Josh?'"

"Or, you know, having a life that didn't involve taking care of a little boy. Yankees all the way, baby!" Toby said with as much enthusiasm as Toby usually did before the elevator doors closed.

"You know, I think he was trying to insult me."

"You were always a quick one Josh."

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I can't believe they're going to lose." Josh's head was buried in his hands as Donna looked on with sympathy. She had stood next to him and cheered the Mets this far into the game and now it looked like they were going to blow it big time. The score was Atlanta Braves 2, New York Mets 1. A sweep in the playoffs was embarrassing. "We should go."

"No."

"Why, Donna? They're going to lose and then I'm going to have to see the damn Braves celebrating on MY field." His face was red, whether with embarrassment, anger, or conviction she couldn't tell.

"First of all, it's not your field, and second of all, you said it yourself 'ya gotta believe.'" Donna knew it was the eighth inning but hell, as Josh said, these are the Amazin' Mets.

"Yeah, but these aren't the 1986 Mets. These are the 1999 Mets, who like to lose."

"They got this far, Josh."

"And they're not gonna make it any farther. They blew it."

"You're being a child."

"So what?"

"Just watch the game. You never know." She tried to give him an encouraging grin.

"Fine, but when we get back later and I'm depressed for the next few weeks don't complain to me about my attitude."

"It's not like you would listen anyway." Both their heads popped up when a chant of "asshole" began. Donna turned to Josh.

"Hey! They're not talking about me!" he said, pointing at himself indignantly. She laughed at him as his eye caught the bullpen to see the Atlanta Braves' relief pitcher, John Rocker, currently the most hated man in New York, stride out on the field. The Mets had runners on the first and second bases (Josh was too busy wallowing in his misery to care). Josh immediately joined in on the chant, urging Donna to do the same. She entered when his dimples appeared and it was impossible for her not to chant and grin back.

Rocker was ready to pitch as John Olerud took the plate. The next thing you know the players on first and second had each stolen a base and now were on second and third. Josh was jumping around, his sorrows of a second ago forgotten about. The crowd quieted down as finally Rocker threw a pitch. The crack of the ball against the bat, made a loud sound. The crowd watched in momentary wonder as the ball soared through the air, going farther as it went on. Josh unconsciously wrapped his hand around Donna's waiting to see whether the ball was caught, dropped into an open area, or a homerun.

The noise from the crowd increased as they realized that the ball was going to drop into center field. Mets fans began jumping around as the player on third got home, then as the player on second followed. The ball dropped, fans began heckling Rocker and jumping even harder, the cement under Josh and Donna's feet was shaking. Josh pulled Donna to him, hugging his happiness out on her. Then a drunken guy in front of them leaned over and joined in on the hug. No one cared, Josh's team was winning.

After the three of them pulled away they were jumping up and down with everyone else. They slapped hands with those around them.

"That's the Amazin' Mets baby! The Mets Donna! Ya gotta believe!" Josh screamed, jumping up and down with everyone else. He gave her hand one final squeeze and released it.

A/N: The Mets went on to lose the 1999 National League Championship to the Braves in Game 6 for those who don't know. They won this game 3-2. Sorry for all of those who didn't like this chapter/don't like or know about baseball. I figured it would be fun to show them at a good game (and this one was good). I hope the writing wasn't too horrific. Thanks for all the feedback! Please leave more, it makes me smile (and sometimes gives me ideas).


	5. Hello Mother

Title: Joshua  
Category: Romance/Humor/Drama  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: What happens when Josh finds out that he shares the same first name with Dr. Freeride?

Disclaimer: Not one inch of the West Wing belongs to me, not even a molecule of the air they breathe  
Author's Notes: Feedback the best stuff on earth

**Chapter 5**

A gloved hand quietly turned the knob and the person entered the house. An old lady lived here. She was expecting a visitor, but one who would ring the doorbell, not break into her home. Silent footsteps slowly came upon the lady washing the dishes. She knew someone was behind her, but ignored the feeling. She didn't want to deal with the trouble that awaited her, at least not yet. The footsteps stopped.

"Mom, we're home!" Josh grabbed his mother around her waist and kissed her cheek. Rachel Lyman remembers a little brown curly haired boy who enjoyed scaring his mother by walking quietly up behind her when he came home every day after school. Apparently that little boy didn't change; he just grew up to be a big boy who liked to scare his mother after coming home from the campaign trail. It had been six months since her husband had passed, and she was more than happy to have her son home.

"Joshua! I didn't see you there!" He smirked at his mother. Josh knew for damn sure that she had eyes in the back of her head. They'd always been there; especially during his drinking out of the milk carton stage.

Rachel threw her arms around her son, hugging him tightly. Uninvited tears broke into her eyes, something that had been happening since Noah passed. She pulled away and sniffed, wiping at her nose. "How have you been?"

"Good, good." He pulled her mother into another tight hug and then whispered into her ear. "I brought Donna with me, is that okay? I didn't want her to waste her money."

"You brought a girl home?" Rachel took a step back looking at her son and putting her hand against his forehead to check his temperature. "Are you sure you're fine?"

"Mom," he nervously laughed. "I'm doing great." He looked around the kitchen. Where was she? "Donna," he called out, stepping around his mother to look into the doorway that led to the dining room. "Donna." He spotted her covered in the shadows in the dining room. As dark as the room was she couldn't hide the nervousness that was written on her face. Josh could read it clearly. He walked closer to her and lowered his voice so that his mom couldn't here. "Donna, it's ok, she won't bite, and if she tries I'll protect you."

Donna let out a light chuckle. She hadn't been this nervous when meeting the Governor for the first time. She probably shouldn't have come. This was the first time Josh had been home since his father died, it wasn't right of Donna to invade on this visit. All she could hear was the pounding in her ears as she glanced at the doorway that led to Mrs. Lyman.

She didn't know what to expect. Sure, she's talked to Josh's mom a few times on the phone, she even talked to his dad a few times before…well, before…but they were always short, pleasant conversation. Donna knew from experience that people could be nice when making small talk and then turn on you after you really got to know them.

"Where is that girl, Joshua?" His mother's voice sounded from the kitchen and Donna's eyes moved to Josh's, searching for the reassurance she needed. This shouldn't be that big of a deal, she mentally berated herself. "Please tell me you didn't leave her in the car, I raised you better than that."

"Come on," he said giving her a smile that quieted her screaming nerves, at least for the time being, as he tilted his head towards the kitchen. "Of course I didn't leave her in the car, Mom." He looked behind him to make sure she'd followed. "She's right here." He turned on his heel when he reached the middle of the room and waved a hand while he introduced them to each other. "Donna Moss, this is my mother. Mom, this is Donna."

"It's great to finally meet you, Mrs. Lyman," Donna said, a grin plastered on her face as she reached out her hand to shake the older lady's.

"Likewise. I've heard about the wonderful way that you keep my son in check. Nice job." She was taking the young women in. Josh had talked about and to Donna a lot while he was on the phone with his mom. She was significantly younger than her son which was no big deal in Rachel's book because Noah had been about a decade older than her. Rachel turned towards Josh who seemed to be a little tense but yet a glow was about him. He was studying his mother in a way that made her think he was hoping she would approve of his assistant. "Would you two like something to drink or eat? You must be hungry, it was a long drive."

"Three and a half hours isn't that long compared to what we've been through on the campaign trail."

"I wasn't talking about you, Josh, I was talking about Donna. I've been alone in a car with you and I can't imagine being in there for three and a half hours."

- - - - - - - - -

Donna couldn't sleep. She had been staring at the ceiling now for two hours and it hasn't become any more interesting. What she really wanted to do was make herself this warm milk concoction her mother used to put together when she was little but Donna was hesitant to use the kitchen. She was a guest in Josh's mother's house, that didn't allow her to use everything at her free will. But it was late and everyone was asleep except her, so maybe she'd chance it.

One of her feet hesitantly slid out of the sheets and pressed lightly on the floor, then the other followed and Donna sat up. The floor slightly creaked as she put her full weight down. Slowly, trying to not make a lot of noise, she padded to the door and opened it, slipping into the cold hallway.

Now it was time to tiptoe as she passed Josh's door, almost sure that she could hear his snores. After spending months with him she realized that he only snored when he was extremely tired. Finally making it past his door she allowed her the balls of her feet to his the floor as well. She felt like she was that crazy dressing seventeen year old again who was trying to sneak out of her parent's house, except this time all she wanted was a little warm milk.

Donna kept all the lights off as she carefully made her way to the fridge, using only the light it emitted to find the milk and butter. Then she closed the door and let her eyes adjust. It was dark in the room but the moonlight streaming in lit up the kitchen enough that she could find the sugar. She combined the ingredients, put the mug in the microwave and pressed start. That's when she heard the creek. She stopped what she was doing, going completely still.

"Donna, dear, what are you doing in the dark? You can turn on the lights, I can afford the electricity bill," Rachel chuckled as she flipped the switch, brightening the room. Donna cringed as the illumination invaded her senses.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Lyman. I didn't mean to wake you. I just…" Donna looked helplessly around her. "Couldn't sleep," she finished her sentence and then nervously bit her lip. "I hope you don't mind, I borrowed some milk, butter, and sugar."

"Oh, absolutely, it's fine. I was actually just coming down here to have some decaf tea. I haven't been able to sleep well recently." Donna smiled and pulled her concoction out of the microwave. She shuffled over to the table and sat down, blowing lightly on the hot liquid as Rachel prepared her tea. A comfortable silence fell over the two women until Rachel broke it as she sat at the table with her tea. "So, Donna, how's my son really doing?" Donna hesitated a moment, trying to figure out how much she should tell Josh's mother.

"He's doing…well, to tell you the truth Mrs. Lyman I think he's stressed. He doesn't sleep much, and when he does it's usually on my shoulder while we're trying to make notes for the next day on the bus to god knows where." A grin formed on Rachel's face. "I have to remind him to eat and all he wants are burgers that are burnt so badly they look like hockey pucks so I try to get him to eat a salad at times or something healthy but when I do it's always like trying to get a screaming and kicking kid into the doctors office, but…" Rachel cut Donna off.

"He seems happy."

"He is. I mean, at least I think he is, I've never had reason to think otherwise. He really…believes in the Governor and what he's doing. There's also everyone else who works there: Sam, CJ, Toby, Leo…everybody. They all lean on each other and, Mrs. Lyman, it's amazing. I've never seen such a tight knit group working together trying to literally make the word better. It's uplifting. And your son, don't let him know I'm telling you this, he's just…brilliant. They all are. Everyday I'm just in complete awe." Rachel looked at Donna with a smug grin that Donna misinterpreted and immediately jumped in with more to say. "I'm not trying to get you to like me by saying all this it's just…what I believe."

"I don't think that. I know my son's not perfect and I'm sure you've figured it out by now as well."

"He does holler for me at least 100 times a day, but I've got it under control." Rachel laughed.

"Good, you're a sweet girl, don't let him overwork you."

"You should tell him that." Rachel took a sip of her tea before asking a simple question that she didn't know would cause an uproar in Donna's emotions.

"So, why did you join the campaign Donna?" Donna's head snapped up from where her gaze had landed on her mug.

"Umm…well…I needed…I…I wanted" she stammered. "To prove myself. I had just gotten out of a relationship that really wasn't good for me." Rachel's eyes clouded and she reached out her hand and grasped Donna's. She squeezed her hand and that gave Donna encouragement to keep speaking. "He was a med student and…god, this is embarrassing…he…I was in love with him, at least I thought I was and when he said…he told me that when he finished school he would pay for my school, the only thing I had to do was quit college now and get a full time job to help him pay first. At the time it sounded reasonable…but now…I'm such an idiot. I knew Josh; I **knew** he wasn't going to pay me back…" Rachel cut her off.

"Josh?"

Donna's mouth opened and closed like a fish before answering. "Yeah…actually, um…Josh Morrison…I guess he's an MD now…" Rachel's mind connected the dots; obviously that's how she ended up working for her son. Josh had told her a little about his assistant hiring herself. "If you could not, uh, mention this to your son that would be great. He doesn't know and I don't think he'd let me live it down."

"No, no, of course not. You're secrets safe with me." The women shared a smile. Donna finished up the last of her drink.

"I think I might be able to fall asleep now. Thanks for the talk Mrs. Lyman."

"Anytime dear, sweet dreams."

TBC…

A/N: Sorry this took so long to post, I'm having a little writer's block. I'm trying not to drag this out to long, but I swear it's going somewhere. Hopefully you still like it, enjoy reading it, and will leave feedback. Thanks for reading!


	6. Joshua

Title: Joshua  
Category: Romance/Humor/Drama  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: What happens when Josh finds out that he shares the same first name with Dr. Freeride?

Disclaimer: Not one inch of the West Wing belongs to me, not even a molecule of the air they breathe  
Author's Notes: Feedback the best stuff on earth

**Chapter 6**

Donna stepped out of her car and breathed in the air. It was filled with politics and…was that pollution? Certainly it was nothing like Wisconsin air, but that was one of the reasons she loved it. Donna had rented a modest apartment on the outskirts of the Georgetown area and today she was moving in. Two car doors slammed closed behind her.

"Nice place," her boss's voice invaded her thoughts. He had given her a (very) little time away from work to get her things from Wisconsin after they won the election. He had also generously offered to help her move in.

"I think it was nice how Josh volunteered me to help out. Not that I'm not happy to do this for you, Donna," the young speechwriter said giving Donna a sunshine filled smile and then changing that smile into a stiff line when turning towards his long time friend. "But for future reference Josh, I could be at home sleeping right now or you know, not having to deal with a pissed off Toby because I'm taking a break from writing the **inauguration** speech." Sam could picture the bearded man crumbling up a yellow piece of lined paper mumbling to himself, blaming everyone from God to the dog he had when he was three years old for Sam's absence. He didn't know whether to grimace or smirk at the thought.

"Yep, it's real nice for you to help out, Sam," Josh said, slapping him on the back.

"Oh, Sam." Donna's blue eyes turned sympathetic. "I know what it's like; you can go if you want. Josh'll be able to handle this."

"Hey, I'm not moving you in all on my own!" Sam and Donna ignored him.

"Thanks but actually, Toby said I had to be back in an hour otherwise I'm not worthy to have my imprint on the inauguration."

"That's fine. It'll be fun being in charge of Josh for once."

"Hey!" Josh's voice squeaked as his brow knitted together. He stomped his foot in indignation reminding Donna fondly of her three year old niece.

"Why don't you two just follow me inside," she said pulling out her new set of keys. The metal felt cold and foreign to her hand but she didn't let these deliberations show. She was moving into a new place and soon everything would be familiar. "We'll have a look around and then get started."

"Great!" Sam replied, the fake enthusiasm seemed to drip even off his clothes despite the clown-like grin gracing his features.

- - - - - - - - - -

He could feel the rough sides of the box scratching against his hand. It had to be the hundredth one he carried in.

"Donna," he gasped as he kicked open the unlocked door. "How many is this?"

"Umm…I think that makes eight." But it feels like a hundred, he thought while flexing his fingers after putting down the box.

Josh had been alternating between bringing the cartons into her apartment and moving furniture around that had just arrived from IKEA. Luckily, he didn't have to bring the furniture up; his back would have given out and he didn't want her thinking he was a pansy. He had tipped the men who brought it in though, much to Donna's delight (she tried to dissuade him, but he knew by the way her mouth quirked up that she truly appreciated the gesture). He was being a gentleman. Josh knew how much she made and with this new apartment she couldn't really afford little things like that.

Sam had left about a half hour ago. He helped out Donna more than Josh. Two sets of blue eyes had stared at every inch of her apartment trying to decide where certain things should be placed and what colors should be used. Josh could have cared less which resulted in him having box duty and the current loss of feeling in his fingers.

- - - - - - - -

Donna watched as each of his hands bent in and out of loose fists. He hadn't complained to her all day which made her surprised but grateful. If Jay had to do something like this she never would have heard the end of it. She could tell Josh was feeling the strain but he would never admit it. He wasn't Superman, as much as he would like to think so. He needed a break.

"Josh," she said staring at him a moment longer than necessary. Something seemed to be changing although she couldn't identify what. "Have a beer with me."

"You have beer?"

"A girl's gotta be prepared." She pointed towards the kitchen. "Did you not see the bag of groceries I brought in when we first got here?"

"I was too busy trying to defend my manhood to Sam." His voice unconsciously got a little deeper and his stance a little stronger. "Not that I have to do that, because I am, of course, very manly."

"Of course," she said walking towards the fridge. Going against Josh's better judgment his eyes slowly made their way up and down her body, taking in every curve before she turned around. Was that sweat forming on his temple? Maybe he could open a window; it seemed hot in here.

"Are you okay?" she asked in that concerned voice she used when he wasn't getting enough sleep.

Josh cleared his throat and set a confused look upon his face making sure to arch one eyebrow. "Yeah, why?" She handed him his beer.

"I was talking to you and you didn't answer. Did you even hear a word I said?"

"Do I ever?" He grinned at her, dimples and all. She rolled her eyes in response and sat on the ground, her back against the divider between the kitchen and the living room. After a moments hesitation he joined her, twisting off his beer cap in the process. He took a sip and then spit it back into the bottle, making a painful noise. Donna's eyes grew wide.

"What? Is something wrong with the beer? Did I buy bad beer? I don't buy bad beer!" She raised her bottle to her lips to try some herself.

"NO! Stop!" Josh almost knocked the beer out of her hand as he held up his, looking a little sheepishly at her with a shy grin. "I just want to make a toast to you...and…and to this new apartment and…your new start, your new life."

"Josh, that was…" He took a deep breath as her mouth broke into an appreciative grin. She clinked her bottle against his before taking a sip and all he could think about was the way he loved how his name flowed smoothly from her mouth. "Thanks for helping out today, this woulda been hell to do by myself."

"No problem." He looked around the area, finally taking the apartment in. The living room that they were sitting in was relatively big and had a counter (against which they were leaning) that divided it from the kitchen. There were also several doors. Some led to closets, the bathroom, and another to the hallway outside. Two led to a bedroom; one would be Donna's the other her roommate's. He took another appreciative glance around. This place was a steal. "When does your roommate move in?"

Donna swallowed her beer before replying. "I still have to find one. I figure I'll advertise. It shouldn't take too long to fill the spot." She waved her bottle around as she spoke, using it to illustrate her point in a way that Josh struggled to not consider endearing.

Maybe he should have her transferred before they begin work in the White House. The idea had been running through his mind for awhile. At first his feelings for his assistant had been purely lust. Josh just felt like ripping off her clothes because she was a beautiful woman. Normally, he could keep those thoughts and actions under control, but lately it's been becoming more difficult. Sam had cracked a few jokes, but basically Josh just hoped no one else had detected it. He finished off the last of his beer and noticed the sun setting. Maybe he would speak with Leo about it tomorrow.

- - - - - - - - -

Finally, box number thirteen, Josh thought as he pulled it towards him. It was the last one, salvation was just around the corner, and all he had to do was bring it up a few flights of stairs and then _finito_, he was done. Of course after thinking this and jinxing his luck Josh had only one way to go – down, literally. After missing the third step on the first staircase the box fell out of his hands, a loud crash sounding throughout the stairwell. His body soon followed and he landed spread eagle on the floor, gaining bruises from where he made direct contact.

He began slowly to move his right ankle and foot, then moving to his left. They seemed to be fine. He lifted each of his legs in the air and put them back down. Then he assessed his arms and hands. Nothing seemed to be hurt --

"Oh my God. Josh, are you okay?"

-- except his pride. Donna's voice drifted down to him and he heard her footsteps on the stairs.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. There's no need to come down here, I'm fine," he pushed himself up but her footsteps didn't stop. "Donna!" he yelled forcibly but making sure not to sound mean. The sounds of her shoes on the stairs paused. "Don't come down here, I'm fine." He looked up to find her a flight up staring down at his face. Josh smiled to reassure her. "I'll be up in a second." Donna nodded her head and slowly began the journey back to her apartment. He watched her for a second before turning his attention to the box on the floor, some of the contents had scattered out of it. He stretched his limbs and began picking up the mess. There wasn't much to it, basically stuff like a hairbrush, shoes, a decorative pillow, and a photo album which had flown the farthest away from the box. Josh walked towards the door to retrieve it. The cover was facing down and when he flipped it over he stopped in his tracks.

On the front of the album was a picture of Donna with some guy. That's not what shocked him. Underneath the picture written in Donna's hand was "Joshua –and– Donnatella." He studied the jacket a little longer. She looked good. Younger and…happy. The red dress she was wearing clung to all the right places and the way Joshua had his arm around her…He wasn't going to go there. Yes he was. The name – his name – was making him sick to his stomach. Joshua –and– Donnatella. **Joshua** –and– Donnatella. Joshua. He was Joshua, he thought, stating the obvious, and not some undeserving asshole. He kept studying the name, running his fingers over it, trying to find a difference. J-O-S-H-U-A. Exactly the same. Maybe he should flip through the pictures, make sure that this Joshua was who he thought he was and not her brother or something.

Josh lifted up the cover but then slammed it quickly shut. He didn't have to look; he knew what awaited him on the rough paper, glossy photos of a man who he hated with a woman that neither of them deserve. And did he really want to see Donna all cozy with this jackass? No. He would put the album gently back and forget about it. He heard another loud crash and looked down. So much for the gently part. He bent down, shoved the album under a few things and picked up the box. The edges seemed to burn his skin. The sooner he could get out of here the better. Joshua. His mind kept spinning. How many times has she said that name? While she laughed at him? While she yelled at him? When he made her moan?

He shook his head, trying to throw the thoughts far away. At least now he wouldn't have to talk to Leo or deal with breaking in a new assistant. She didn't have feelings for him, just liked his name. Overall, he tried to convince himself, this was a better situation. He would never have to act embarrassed and Donna and he would never turn into another office affair that people would talk about around the water cooler. No, this was for the best, this is good. Yeah, perfect he thought as he kicked open the door, walked to the nearest open space and put down the carton a little harsher than he had intended. He stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans, trying to get the filth off.

"You okay?" Donna's voice interrupted his deliberations.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," Josh replied distractedly. "I gotta go."

"But I was…" she trailed off and for the first time he looked up at her standing in the doorway to the kitchen wearing an apron, her hair pulled into a bun, her sleeves rolled up, and holding a wooden spoon. His eyes softened and his legs, moving at their own accord, took a step towards her. "You were what?" he asked, his voice smooth like honey as he took another step closer, almost able to reach out and touch her.

"I was cooking dinner," she said quietly. Josh could see it in her eyes, her silent and nervous desire for him to come closer, pulling him in. By now he was a foot away from her, invading her personal space. He pushed away a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Josh," she breathed as her eyelids fluttered shut, trying to fill her senses with his touch. He, on the other hand, froze. He couldn't do this, not after…

When Donna opened her eyes a split second later Josh had already pulled on his coat. He didn't say anything until she met his eyes. "I got to go." Now he was studying the floor, noticing that there was a pull in the rug right next to his left foot. "Uh, is there anything you need me to do?"

"I…umm…" Her face was taking on a shade of red he had never seen before but she pulled herself together and cleared her throat, willing her voice not to betray the quiver going through her body. "No, I'm ok." Her gaze flicked quickly around the room and landed on him again. She never knew her carpet was that interesting. "Are you sure you don't…I was making pancakes for dinner, do you want some?" He finally met her gaze and gave her a shy smile. Donna knew he loved pancakes. She had found that out after she tried to steal some of that off his plate in Indiana and he stuck his fork defiantly into the piece she was trying to get. She hasn't touched his pancakes since. That he didn't like to share.

"Thanks, but I…I really have to go." He had his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"It's ok, I understand." He headed towards the door and pulled it open. "Josh." He turned his head to look at her. "Thanks." She paused again, looking into his eyes. "For everything." He smiled at her and closed the door behind him. He couldn't even take a full two steps before he leaned against the nearest ugly mustard colored wall, letting out a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding. He pushed his head against the partition, groaning. Despite everything he still loved the way Donna said his name.

- - - - - -

It had been several minutes since Josh walked out that door but her breathing was still uneven. Her cheek felt like fire where his fingers had danced and she flushed, thinking about the scene that had just played out in her kitchen doorway.

Donna stuck the batter in the fridge and pulled out a microwavable meal. As she stuck the dinner in to be warmed up she debated whether to make the pancakes and bring them to work tomorrow as a thank you to Josh and Sam or whether she should just toss it. After a moment she decided that since they had both helped her and they did deserve to know how grateful she was. But mostly her decision was based on the way brown eyes lit up at the mention of pancakes.

- - - - - - - - -

Josh could smell it a mile away. Someone had pancakes. He quickly got to his feet like a gopher popping out of a hole, his eyes shifting in every direction, analyzing each scene, looking for the delicious breakfast food and trying to smell his way towards it. He came around his desk and leaned against it while looking about. A few interns were gathered in the corner. They were drinking coffee and laughing – no pancakes there. A little further to the left Toby was picking up a donut and handing CJ a cup of coffee. Obviously if Toby was eating a donut he didn't have pancakes or at least didn't know they were in the immediate area. Josh moved his eyes a little more to his left and there in his doorway was his blonde haired assistant holding a **gorgeous** plate of pancakes and the bottle of New Hampshire syrup they kept around.

Donna's mouth quirked into a smile as she found his eyes glowing at the sight of the breakfast. She deposited the plate on his desk and then noticed that his gaze still hadn't left the food. He gulped. Josh had been kicking himself ever since he left behind her offer of pancakes last night. "Thanks for helping me, Josh." She smiled at him as he internally cringed. He had to stop doing that. It really wasn't that big of a deal if some gomer she had dated shared his name. Had she ever made **Joshua** pancakes? Probably, he thought, finding himself jealous.

"It was no problem at all." He went to sit behind his desk ready to dig in.

"I mean it. You've really…been there for me, and I appreciate it." He gave her a real smile at the compliment.

"Anytime, Donna, anytime," he replied before taking his first bite.

A/N: I hope you still like it. Feedback/suggestions/criticism welcome!


	7. The First Anniversary

Title: Joshua  
Category: Romance/Humor/Drama  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: What happens when Josh finds out that he shares the same first name with Dr. Freeride?

Disclaimer: Not one inch of the West Wing belongs to me, not even a molecule of the air they breathe  
Author's Notes: Feedback the best stuff on earth

**Chapter 7**

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. One year. It had been a whole year without a word from Jay but today, standing on her desk was a bouquet of flowers. Although the arrangement itself was lovely it mocked her. The stems were strong and powerful – they could bend her in half. She took a hesitant step towards her desk. That's when she noticed the petals screaming. She looked around, trying to see if anyone else could hear it. They were all quietly attending to their work. How could they not hear the ear piercing cries of failure that issued from the yellow daisies? Or the tale that came from the purple tulips of how Donnatella Moss dropped out of college to support her jackass of a boyfriend?

She took the final steps towards her desk and snatched the card off the arrangement, ripping the envelope to shreds like her nerves and pulling out the note. Her eyes scanned it greedily.

_I'm glad you came back. I'd be lost without you._

It wasn't from Jay. She threw down her bag and ran to the nearest bathroom. She had to briefly remind herself that it was just around the corner. The first few days she was here she actually thought the closest toilet was in the basement. She sheltered herself in a stall. Donna could feel the small piece of paper becoming moist in her hand but she couldn't calm down. Her chest was heaving.

She knew one day he would say something. Point out how she had left him and how worthless her life had been. She was expecting a snide remark; instead she got flowers and a note. A slap in the face. A nice way of being mean. That was her boss, the prince of passive-aggressive behavior.

Donna finally let her breathing slow. This was not going to bother her. It had been a year; she wasn't going to leave him again. She swiped at her clothes, trying to brush off the defeat that clung. With her fist still wrapped tightly around the little card she made her way back to her desk and sat down. Using one hand she began typing. Eventually her grip loosened and the small paper slipped to the floor. Ten fingers began to write furiously.

- - - - - -

His breathing was unsteady. She was angry. Josh **knew** she was angry and he hadn't seen her yet, just heard the clickity-clack of her fingers on the keyboard. This wasn't the normal sound he heard everyday coming through his closed door from the bullpen. No. This was the smashing-of-every-key-that-had-the-unfortunate-luck-of-coming-into-contact-with-her-skin pissed off. When silence rang until the ding on his computer indicating that he had a new email interrupted it he became afraid. What could she have possibly written? After gathering up all the courage one man could possess he turned toward the electronic device and grabbed the mouse. Clicking twice on the email that was (of course) from his assistant he closed his eyes as the message popped up. After a minute his sight was filled with the glow of the computer screen and Donna's words.

_Don't feel well. Going home._

_-Donna_

He immediately stood up and pulled open the door, ready to yell for her but she was nowhere insight. The flowers had disappeared as well. Josh turned around and sat behind his desk. So much for having a nice anniversary.

- - - - -- - -

Donna allowed her body to press against the closest wall as soon as she entered her apartment. What should have been just another day became an unexpected emotional shock. Feeling exhausted her right hand went to press against her throbbing temple but stopped short. Her eyes adjusted to the black line gracing her skin. There, like a tattoo, were Josh's words.

_I'm glad you came back._

She let out a breath of air and slid to the floor.

- - - - -

A/N: Sorry this chapter is short and took so long to put up. I felt even though it was short that it was necessary to the storyline. Thanks for reading and feedback is still greatly appreciated.


	8. Hands

Title: Joshua  
Category: Romance/Humor/Drama  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: What happens when Josh finds out that he shares the same first name with Dr. Freeride?

Disclaimer: Not one inch of the West Wing belongs to me, not even a molecule of the air they breathe  
Author's Notes: Feedback the best stuff on earth

Sorry this has taken me so long to put up, my internet and computer have been giving me trouble.

**Chapter 8**

Life just wasn't the same when you factored in how he had left. He hadn't said goodbye just walked out the door and gave her that grin. The one that always left her wanting more and now the odds were she would never get what she wanted. She slumped in a cold, plastic chair next to Mrs. Landingham.

Chair. She had gotten his fixed today. He had fallen on the floor when he thought it was there and she had laughed. Now, even the lines from her smiles have disappeared.

She would give anything to get him back. She should have kept him in the office, thought up something that he desperately needed to get done so that he couldn't go to the Newseum. Hell, she would have even thrown caution to the wind and pushed him against the door, pressing her lips against his if that meant he didn't have to go through this, if that meant she didn't have to sit here waiting for doctors to save his life. She would have done anything.

And now the only thing she can do is wait.

Wait for Joshua.

- - - - - - - - -

Hours had passed and the faces blurred together. Mrs. Landingham became Charlie. Charlie became Sam. Sam became Toby. Toby became CJ. CJ became Zoey. Zoey became Mrs. Bartlet. It didn't matter anymore because she couldn't see. She didn't want to see. The pain on their faces spoke of words that Donna didn't want to distinguish. And the hand that grasped hers never felt right. It was never the same hand that guided her gently on her back or that lightly brushed hers when taking a file. No. These were the hands of people that didn't understand. They were not the hands of Joshua.

Her ears began buzzing and she knew she could no longer sit still. She had to see him. She had to make sure everything was ok. If she was there, if she was with him, everything would be fine. Things had always been fine when she was around. This time would be no exception. She had to see him.

Donna didn't realize that as she stood she was still grasping the hand of the First Lady, pulling her along. She also didn't notice the other hands that stopped her from walking. The hands of her friends, the hands of Josh's friends, the hands, she decided, of traitors. She fought against them, but her strength had left. They pushed her back into a cold, plastic chair.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

She didn't feel anymore. When Sam tapped her on the shoulder Donna didn't bat an eye. Finally, the reverberation of her name reached her ears. Her head snapped towards the sound.

"How you doing?" He was concerned, not only about Josh, but her as well. She cleared her throat, a loud sound that seemed to erupt in her ears. Her eyes glanced quickly into his and Sam could briefly see the pain that was tormenting her. 

He knew that sitting here wasn't what she needed. He knew that being so far away wasn't helping them, wasn't helping her. "I'm going to get you some water," he said in response to her silence. "I'll be right back." He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but knew it stopped miles short of his eyes. Sam didn't know if things were going to be ok, and he wasn't going to lie to her.

- - - - - - - - - -

As the glass panel met her hand she felt a rush of cold, finally, something, she thought. It was only a brief touch but she knew, just from pressing against the hard surface, that the room on the other side of the window pane was not pleasant. Tension always radiated through walls, no matter if they were thick, thin, or see through and this was no exception.

Donna hadn't looked in yet – she still had to locate her courage. It had left when she walked through the doorway and immediately focused on the floor. There were scuff marks everywhere. This could be the last time she saw him alive – or as alive as one can be when they stop your heart to save you from death. Stop Josh's heart. The thought kept flying through her mind, burying itself in every crevice, digging deep into her psyche. How can you stop someone's heart and expect them to live? It all seemed so ridiculous, but she wasn't a doctor, nor was she in the mindset to pretend to be so.

Finally, she took a deep breath and looked up, gazing into the operating room. A strangled noise emitted from her throat and she unconsciously pushed herself closer to the glass. He was so pale. His chest was cracked open and medical personal were everywhere. Normally he would be grinning from all the attention but now his lips were a form of blue and unexpressive. She briefly wondered if he was cold – not that it mattered, there was absolutely nothing she could do. She couldn't make his blood flow faster, she couldn't make his heart beat, she couldn't save his life, and, hell, she couldn't even throw a blanket over him for warmth. She was completely and utterly useless.

But her eyes kept scanning the scene. Crimson filled her vision and for a second her usual stomach of steel seemed to change to jelly and she thought she was going to be sick. That's when she grabbed onto her White House ID and continued to morbidly watch the life saving procedure.  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He wanted to talk to them, tell them that was his son in there…tell them that God forbid that boy dies their asses will be in a sling so fast their heads will spin. He wanted to tell them that, but he couldn't. He was the President of the United States, the most powerful man in the world…and he couldn't do a damn thing…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He didn't feel well. His mouth was dry, his head hurt, and he could swear that a damn Republican elephant was crushing his chest. He tried to make a noise or movement, but everything felt heavy.

Water.

That's what he wanted, it's what everyone wants, what everyone needs to live. Water. He didn't even care if it was from the DC tap, just something to wet his mouth and throat. Josh decided to wait a little while, gather his strength and make some sort of sound to get attention. He hoped that this was just a horrible hangover but the loud noise that suddenly invaded his senses told him otherwise -- a constant, screeching beep that was making him nauseous.

"Off." His voice sounded raspy and week. "Off," he croaked again, trying to get the damn thing to silence itself. That's when he felt a straw placed gently on his lips and a weight in his hand as five fingers intertwined with his.

"Drink, Joshua." He did as she said. He wanted to drink greedily, gorge himself on water, but his body wouldn't let him. His throat felt like a cats scratching post and the liquid hurt going down but at least the tiny sips of water drowned out the beeping. He still hadn't opened his eyes but he could feel the glare of the lights sending sheering pains into his head. He pushed the straw away and made enough noises into words that Donna understood to shut the lights off. When the pain lessened he heard Donna talking about his Mom arriving soon, and how she stopped for red lights when she didn't mean to, and just general blabbery that he tried to pay attention to but instead sleep overtook him. Her warm hand still clutched his.

- - - - - - - --

Feedback is always appreciated, thanks for reading and hopefully the next update won't be in about a month!


	9. Oh No You Didn't

Title: Joshua  
Category: Romance/Humor/Drama  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: What happens when Josh finds out that he shares the same first name with Dr. Freeride?

Disclaimer: Not one inch of the West Wing belongs to me, not even a molecule of the air they breathe  
Author's Notes: Feedback the best stuff on earth

**Chapter 9**

Donna had been staring at her computer screen for half an hour. Actions and words had left her the second she clicked on the e-mail and read its content. He wanted to meet…after all this time of not talking to her he wanted to meet. The problem was she didn't know if she wanted to see him. He had hurt her in more ways than she ever imagined possible and the last time they saw each other…she didn't even want to think about.

But why shouldn't she take this meeting? He was offering to pay for dinner and he said he just wanted to talk. It was a free meal and if he offended her she could just say what she's wanted to say to him for the past several years. So, this is a beneficial situation in either light. The biggest problem would be getting out early from work. She'd have to handle Josh the right way if she wanted to get some time off. With her mind decided she headed to his office. His back was angled towards the door as he typed on his laptop. Hopefully it was an e-mail to his mother, she kept reminding him to write one all week.

"Hey." Her voice cut through the smog that filled his head and he paused tumbling the "hey" over in his head. This wasn't her 'normal' hey, this was her 'I need something' hey.

"What's up?" Josh swung around in his chair, making sure to look unassuming. She walked further into the office and sat in the guest chair letting out a sigh. "Hard day?" he asked.

"You have to promise me something," she said staring at him, making sure he understood through her eyes that this was serious. He raised his eyebrow but his face became solemn.

"What do you need?"

"Ok, my ex-boyfriend--" Josh's face contorted and then his jaw hardened and his eyes darkened as he interrupted.

"Dr. Freeride." Donna nodded her head slightly as she continued.

"Yeah, well, he wants to get together—"

"A date!" Josh's voice became high pitched and Donna slightly flinched. "Why would you go back out with that…that…that GUY!"

"I'm not…" she sighed. "I'm NOT going back out with him. We're simply having a meal together. He has some things he needs to discuss with me. I need off tomorrow night." His head was already shaking by the second word of the last sentence.

"No."

"Josh," she said exasperated. "You can't…"

"I'm your boss, I can." She stared at him quickly reformulating her thoughts. He was acting like a jerk and now she needed to handle the situation differently.

"Josh. I may be your assistant but I'm not your little sister and you don't have the right to mess with my life. I'm a strong woman who needs off tomorrow night and you're going to give it to me, because if you don't I will make your life a living hell." Josh began to open his mouth but Donna held out a finger. "And don't think I won't because I can easily do it and I will have no problem with it." He heaved a sigh.

"Fine. Give me a call when you're done with dinner, you're probably gonna have to come back here to help me out on HR 573." She knew this was the best outcome she could hope for.

"Thanks, Josh," she said as she stood up.

"Yeah, yeah" he said shuffling through some papers on his desk. "Can you get me the memo about the thing, Leo needs me to brief him."

- - - - - - - - - --

Josh stared at the phone for about the millionth time that night. He looked at the clock. It's been two hours since she left to meet him. What could possibly be taking so long? He worked it out in his head and thought that he had given her a spacious amount of time. Hellos – 1 minute. Order drinks – 2 minutes (if deliberations). Drinks delivered, order dinner – 5 minutes. Time between ordering and delivery of dinner – 20 minutes. Time to eat dinner (including appetizer) – 40 minutes. Cleaning of plates and ordering of dessert – 8 minutes. Delivery and eating of dessert – 15 minutes. (The possible) after dessert drink – 20 minutes. Goodbyes – 5 minutes. A total of 116 minutes.

That leaves her with four minutes. In that amount of time it is possible to call your boss and see if he needs help on the upcoming House bill. Where was she? Josh began tapping his pen against the desk. He had to be able to do something. He couldn't read through HR 573 again. That would just be suicide. Farm subsidies aren't the most thrilling thing that the Deputy Chief of Staff has ever come across. He turned his chair around and looked out the window. A few scattered tourists were still walking around the White House even though the sun had set hours ago. At least Josh thought it was hours ago, he wasn't sure. The last time he had made it out of the White House during daylight was…

The phone rang, throwing him out of his reverie. He spun in his chair, letting it get halfway through the second shrill before putting the receiver to his ear. "Hello."

"Hey Josh."

"Donna, what took you so long?"

"I just got out. I called you before I even got near the metro."

"He's letting you walk to the metro alone? He didn't offer you a ride?" Josh asked. He couldn't believe the audacity that this guy had. He sure as hell didn't deserve--

"Actually, he's right next to me," she answered with a smile in her voice.

Josh swallowed, hard. This guy stopped for a beer when Donna was in a car accident and now he was walking with her to the metro.

"I need you to come in right now."

"Josh?"

"It's really important. Tell what's his face that you had a pleasant evening or whatever but that the White House needs you."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, I just…get here as soon as you can." He hung up the phone and couldn't believe that he had just…done whatever the hell he had just done. There was no name for it, or at least that's what he tried believed.

- - - - - - - -

Donna rushed through his office door.

"Did we lose Hafferty?"

"What?" Josh knocked his feet from his desk and looked as if she had just told him a herd of gorillas had stormed Panama. "What are you talking about?"

"You said to get over here as soon as possible. What's wrong? What happened with the bill?"

"Nothing. Nothing happened with the bill. Calm down there, killer."

"Then what did you call me back for that was so important?"

"Because I didn't think…I figured you didn't want to be with Freeride anymore."

"It was a fine evening, Josh." Underlying hostility filled her voice and it set him off.

"Oh, I'm sure it was." The sarcasm and disgust was flowing through each syllable, fueling the fury that filled his voice. "How many drinks did he feed you to try and get into your pants, Donna? Because you know that's all he wanted. He wanted to come down here and try to screw you. You must be quite good in the bedroom if he traveled all the way for a fuck. But I'm sure you've had enough prac--"

A shattering smack stopped the flood of words leaving his mouth and his fiery gaze landed on her eyes.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that," she said with a deathly quiet air. "I don't care if you're my boss, you don't have the right.

"But **Joshua** does?" The anger splashed out of his mouth, soaking her.

"What?"

"Joshua, you know, Dr. Freeride. He got to talk to you like this. You've told me the things he's said and yet here he is in DC taking you on a date. If I had known that's all it would take to get in bed I would have done it a long time ago." She stared at him.

"I'm going. Goodnight, Joshua," she spat, grabbing her jacket and purse. Her heels clicking against the floor as she defiantly walked out of his office and away from his jaw clenched, brow furrowed face.

When she finally left his line of vision Josh let out a rush of air and sat down, leaning his head back against the padded chair. "That didn't go so well."

A/N: Sorry this took so long to post. It took a ridiculous amount of time to fix my computer (it had to be sent back twice, damn you HP/Compaq…speaking of which does anyone know what the best type of laptop to get is?). Anyway please leave feedback, there are only one or two more sections left (I think). Thanks for reading, you guys are awesome!


	10. Risk

**Chapter 10**

The knocking on his door was incessant. After Donna left he had stayed a few more hours but hadn't gotten much work done. The argument seemed to overfill his brain and drain out his ears. Finally, he had gone home and into bed. Sleep didn't seem too far away when the pounding began.

With a yawn and a groan he padded towards the door. The cold wood stung his bare feet. It was one in the morning and there were only a handful of people who would be making such a racket. If his actions tonight had been blown around any member of the senior staff might be there to give him a rightfully deserved ass kicking. Or there could be one of two other people on the other side of that door, but he was pretty sure that his mother didn't fly all the way up from Florida to surprise him this early in the day. So that left…

He took a deep breath and flung the door open. A wall of steel met his gaze. A beautiful wall of steel with blue eyes and blond hair. "Here," she said shoving a piece of paper into his hands. "I can't take this anymore." Josh quickly scanned the page as Donna turned to leave. When the word "resignation" flew into his line of sight he grabbed her arm and turned her towards him, trying to control his anger.

"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded. How could she leave him? Donna's gaze avoided his. Have these past years meant nothing?

"Who are we kidding Josh? We can't work together anymore. I can't take this kind of treatment, I don't deserve it. I thought you knew that." She jerked her arm out of his grasp and turned down the hall.

"Donna!" he called out after her.

"No." She spun on her heel, flaring. Josh took a surprised step back. "Don't tell me that I can't leave, don't tell me that you need me or that I have some-" she paused taking a breath. "Some **obligation** to my country. Save me the bullshit, Josh, and just let me go." His mouth closed as he stared at her, defeat gracing every inch of his body. Donna sighed and walked down the stairs. She told him to let her go, but she didn't think he'd actually listen.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Josh ran a hand through his hair as he shut the door and briefly leaned against it. Pushing himself forward, he shot towards the liquor cabinet and his bottle of scotch. The smooth liquid with a kick was his poison of choice when his world seemed to implode. By trying to keep Donna closer to him he had actually pushed her further away. He chuckled ironically to himself. "Joshua," he muttered, taking his first sip. His hangover tomorrow was going to be terrible.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Josh stormed into work the next day; his gaze purposely avoided his assistant's desk. He slammed the door to his office and dropped himself into the nearest chair. He took a deep breath willing the nausea and headache to vacate his body. God, he felt like shit. He searched through his desk looking for the emergency supply of Advil he knew Donna kept in there for days when his back hurt and he was too stubborn to tell her. Popping two into his mouth he dry swallowed them and headed off to senior staff.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

In one hour he had passed by her desk three times. Once on his way to staff, once on his way back, and currently on his way to Toby's office. No sign of Donna, not even a pen thrown half hazardly on the desk, nothing. He groaned in frustration. Just because she resigned doesn't mean she doesn't have to come into work to collect her belongings and give back her security card. These were important things, and also the fact that he needed to talk to her and that was the only way the conversation was going to take place.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Her security card. She had to go back to return the damn thing and she had to place it directly into Josh's hand. Josh. Uggh. She was beginning to despise that name. He'll be there and he'll be angry, angry that she couldn't stay a little while to help him out. He'll say that he gave her a chance and that he'd be the only one to want her. He'll be just like Jay.

As Donna approached the entrance to the west wing of the White House the wind whipped her hair about. She blew out a breath to get the strands off her face. Then, setting her shoulders and hardening her eyes she grabbed onto the cold metal and opened the first door that led to Josh.

- - - - - - - - - -

He had seen a brief glimmer of blond hair out of the corner of his eye as he passed the doorway of his office while pacing. She was back, even if she was holding one of those cardboard boxes that were usually kept in the supply closet and packing her belongings inside of its brown walls. Josh rushed over to his desk, eager to use the new skill he had acquired in her short absence.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Donna sighed at the sound of his baritone voice, her shoulders slumping as she looked around for him.

"Donna?" Her head whipped around the small area still looking for her. "Donna, could you come in here please?" She looked down at the offensive object that gathered dust on her desk – the intercom. He had used it. She suppressed a smile, noting that she was still angry at him and walked the familiar path to his office setting her eyes into glare mode and pursing her lips into an angry line.

"Do you have Advil?"

"Josh."

"Sorry, it's just…I got this massive…I'm sorry." He cleared his throat at the uncomfortable silence. "Could you please shut the door?" Her hand reached out and grabbed the knob, blocking the sounds and sights of the office from the rest of the bullpen as soon as the click sounded. She sat on the visitors chair quietly, letting him squirm, waiting for his voice to break the thick awkwardness surrounding them. "You can't just leave," he said, his voice firm, leaving no room for arguing. "You think you can but you can't. I won't let you."

"I don't think you have much of a say as to what I do with my life Joshua, especially after last night." He looked at her. Donna's usual light eyes were a cold blue, like a dark day in winter and they bore into his. "You know, sometimes I think…" She took a deep breath. "Sometimes I think I hate you." He clenched his jaw, feeling like she just socked him with a right hook. "And before you say anything just let me say my piece, then I'll walk out of here and you can pretend like you never knew me.

"Last night was…I don't know what last night was, Josh, but it…well, it was what it was and it made me realize that working for you was hurting me. I'm not your maid or your errand boy or a person that you can just step on when you feel like it. But that's the way you treat me. I've let you say things to me that I just brushed off because I figured that it's just you and that you meant nothing by it. But now I see that you do think of me as some pathetic person that doesn't deserve to follow in your holier than thou shoes." Her last words had been spit at him with such venom he leaned back in his chair.

"And I'm better than that…and I'm better than you. You have my resignation and here's my security card," she said throwing it on the desk as she stood up and turned towards the door. "Goodbye, Joshua Lyman."

He almost let her go. He almost allowed her to walk out that door and pretend that she had never been a part of his life but he wasn't that stupid.

"No." She turned the knob. "Donna, I said no."

"And I said goodbye." She pulled open the door and he came up behind her and shut it violently.

"You," he whispered fiercely in her ear while standing behind her, holding his hand up against the door to keep it closed. "Don't get to say goodbye because, yes I say stupid things and, yes, I get jealous and act like a jackass but I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. But you don't get to leave; **you **don't get to erase yourself from my life."

Her breathing was heavy and her hand clenched around the handle that should provide her escape. She stared at the ground feeling the heat radiate off his body and spoke softly. "Why do you get jealous?"

"Because," he said, his free hand moving to glide down the side of her body, taking the biggest risk of his life. "They get to do this and I don't." He leaned closer to her and nuzzled her neck, planting a light kiss at the nape. Her body tensed. "It drives me insane." His fingers danced over the fabric of the pants that fit her waist perfectly as her grip loosened on the handle and a very quiet moan departed through her lips. "Please, give me a chance to make it up to you, to show you that I'm not Joshua, that I'm just Josh." He pulled his hand off the door and stepped away from her, allowing her to make up her mind while he stood nervously by, contemplating where he got the backbone to do such a thing. Donna took a step away from the door and turned to look at him.

"What was that?" she asked. "I mean, you can't honestly think that I would stay in this job just because you…" she sighed. "Josh, listen to me," she said turning around. "That's not going to make everything all right."

"I know that, Donna, I know."

"I don't think you do. Josh, last night you decided that I was the biggest whore you've ever set your eyes on."

"I did not say that. Don't put words in my mouth. I would never, ever call you a whore."

"You're right, you didn't say the word, but you sure as hell implied it. And now...now here we are in your office and you're trying to seduce me to, what, prove your point?" He began to get angry at what she was accusing him of.

"Yes, Donna, that's exactly what I did. I, without thinking of how I could lose my job or get sued or get my heart stomped on or lose you forever, decided to put myself out on a line just to prove my point. Yep, you hit the nail on the head." She stared at him as he lowered himself into the chair. His face seemed to age as he dropped. "Just leave. I'm sorry," he said, waving his hand limply towards the door.

"No." His head snapped up at the definace and he looked at her sadly, speaking with a monotone voice. "At first you wouldn't stay and now I can't get you to leave. Great." He picked up a nearby file and pretended to read but he could feel her presence as it raced through every part of his body. She sat in the chair opposite him and watched as his eyes scanned the words in front of him. Then she gave a soft smile.

"Josh?" she asked.

"Yeah?" He kept his concentration on the documents in his hands.

"I'll be in tomorrow." She grabbed her security badge and opened the door, looking back at him, their eyes meeting briefly as he silently mouthed "I'm sorry." She gave him a nod and was out the door, leaving the box on her desk to be unpacked tomorrow.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N: Not sure how happy I am with this. My computer is broken again, but this mostly took too long due to writer's block. The end is coming soon but if I wish I may edit this and repost, we will see. Let me know what you think, please leave feedback, I'm having a horrendous summer and this would help. Have a good day and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


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